Guide Peter Is Just a Baby

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World News It could be the end of Amsterdam's red light district as mayor seeks closures The future of Amsterdam's notorious red light district is under consultation with sex workers and residents. Peter : That's funny. Quagmire : Thank you. Anyway, thanks for all the baby stuff. Hey, what's that big tarp over there? Lois : Oh, that was Chris's blankie from when he was a baby.

Peter : Yeah, he was a big kid. Almost split Lois in half, coming out of her. Lois : It's true. I never mentioned this because I don't want him to feel bad, but after he was born, they had to rearrange most of my organs. Peter : Oh, yeah. He dragged half of Lois right out with him Lois : Yeah, the doctors said I'll be lucky if I live past 50, but Chris is healthy and I thank God for that. All right, you ready to meet your clone? Brian : Am I ever?

I've got a to-do list three pages long for him. Stewie : Okay, now I want to qualify this by reminding you that, as with my clone, the intelligence level is reduced a bit. Brian : That's good. We don't want him thinking too much.


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Stewie : Yeah, well, I might have dialed your back a little more than I ought to have. Brian : What do you mean?

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Stewie : Brian, meet Bitch Brian. You got some stuff you want me to do for you? Brian : Oh, my God. Stewie : Yeah, That's kind of what I said, too. You know, I'll I'll be honest with you, Brian. Here's what happened. I didn't really want to do the work, so Bitch Stewie sort of did it. Bitch Stewie : [walks into Stewie's room] Hey, Stewie, how'd the clone turn out?

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Bitch Brian : Brian, I can't go to the bathroom by myself. Will you please help me? But I'm good at other stuff! Quagmire : Yeah, it's a long story. Damn kid's kept me up every night for two weeks. Now, where were we? Next time wear a condom jer And that's why I'm wondering if you and Lois would be willing to adopt the baby. Peter : Uh Oh, boy, Quagmire. I-I don't know that we can do that.

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We-We-We can barely take care of the two we have. Now-Now, this is just a suggestion. Just throwing it out there. Have you considered abortion? Quagmire : Uh, Peter, I think it's too late for that. Peter : Oh, don't let the press put the scare into you. Wade v. Boggs has not been overturned. Quagmire : Yeah, but you can't really abort a live baby. Peter : Ho, boy, they have got you. Is there any way you guys could take Anna Lee?

Peter : No, Quagmire. We got enough kids of our own, plus ol' Brian over there. Peter : All right, Quagmire, just so you're clear on the law, once you give this child up to the adoption agency, you can no longer abort it. Do you wish to put this child up for adoption? Quagmire : Yeah. It's not working out. I need to get her out of my hair.

Receptionist : Well, we can help you there. Is it a boy or a girl? Quagmire : It's a girl. Her name's Anna Lee. Receptionist : Oh, beautiful name. Let me take her from you. Give her the baby. Quagmire : [looking at Anna Lee] I I will. I just She's, uh She'll go to a good home, right? Receptionist : Oh, yes. Quagmire : She'll be somewhere safe, right? Like, you're not going to put her with sand people, right? Receptionist : You mean like from Star Wars? Quagmire : [laughs] No, no, no, no, no. Bitch Brian : No, but I hit it with a rock. Brian : Okay, thanks. Bitch Brian : Brian, I think my jaw is falling off.

Stewie, what is happening to this thing?! Stewie : [walking in] Oh, yeah. Turns out the clones aren't too stable, Brian. I've been having some trouble with mine, too. Bitch Stewie : [walking in with his eyeball dangling out and dragging his left foot] Hey, Stewie, everything sounds like rushing water. And I can't stand up so very good. Stewie : Yeah, I figure they've got less than a minute before they dissolve completely.

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Bitch Brian : Hey, Brian? Brian : Who's there? I hope that doesn't happen to me. Brian : I'm not proud of this, but I need to lick that up.


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  • A nudie bar is the perfect way to celebrate your first night without a baby. Quagmire : Yeah, Peter, this is great. I feel like myself again. I'll tell ya, my life was so dominated by that baby. I'm glad she's gone. Peter : Eh, you know sometimes, you just got to make a decision and go with it.


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    • Like when I decided to try that radical penis enlargement. Peter : Brian, your objections are duly noted. Now hit the gas! Moments later, both are sitting in the living room, with Peter having a satisfied smile on his face and a massive bulge in his pants] Brian : You know that would never work again in a million years.

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      Peter : Don't need it to, Brian. That stripper has a rash on her ass, just like Anna Lee used to get. Peter : Uh, yeah. Quagmire : And that other stripper's sitting on that guy's lap, just like Anna Lee used to do. Peter : I guess.

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      Quagmire : And that stripper only has one tooth, just like Anna Lee. Showing Rating details. Sort order. Apr 27, Peter Derk rated it it was ok. So some wiseass put this on my desk the other day. I figured, "Maybe someone is trying to send me a message. Peter may be a baby, but his sister is a total beyotch.

      Nature will force Peter to stop being a baby, but beyotch is 4 life, yo. She can't stop pointing out that he can't talk. Because he's 1. He can only say "baba" and "dada" while she, " Nothing like a little dope So some wiseass put this on my desk the other day. Nothing like a little dopey kid counting to French. Nothing I like more than going to a summer cookout, having a kid tell me she can count to three in French, and then sitting thinking about how my life is slipping away while she struggles to get through deux.

      Also, she complains that Peter crawls on all fours. I would argue that him crawling on all fours is probably a more acceptable way to get around than walking on hind legs. These parents need to get their shit together, otherwise they'll raise an egomaniac daughter suited only to be a very mean business lady or some kind of weird church leader type who always has to outdo everyone else with her marshmallow squares, and their son is going to be so devoid of self-esteem that he'll end up destroying himself with booze and pills shortly after releasing his sophomore acoustic album.

      Nov 28, Angela rated it really liked it Shelves: elizabeth-s-books. In Peter is Just a Baby, the older sister relates all the things that she can do that Peter can't like using big words, learning French, and dancing. The story is cute as it leads up to Peter's first birthday and the sister hoping that Peter will now be able to do some of the things that she can do.

      I love the way this book is illustrated. The characters are bears and the illustrations are soft. The pictures match the text very well and flow easily on the pages. Some of the pages have several sma In Peter is Just a Baby, the older sister relates all the things that she can do that Peter can't like using big words, learning French, and dancing. Some of the pages have several smaller pictures illustrating different activities while other pages have one large picture. This makes the book more visually interesting than having one large picture on each page and it also allows for more activities to be shown.

      The book has really nice use of white space for the text as well. Some picture books are difficult to read if the text is placed directly over the illustration but this book avoids that issue completely. The text also flows well around the pictures which keeps the narrative moving visually.

      Although there is a glossary in the front of the book with the French terms including pronunciation and definition, I didn't care for the use of French throughout the text. I took French in high school and am somewhat comfortable with the pronunciations but I can see the foreign words being a turn off to parents who are not familiar with the language. I know I don't like reading a story to my daughter if I am uncertain of how to pronounce some of the words. This is really the only thing that I didn't enjoy about this book though.