I love routines. Waiting on a spouse to decide they do want to stay in the marriage is certainly out of our control. During the hardest times in my marriage, it was easy for me to fall back on those routines. After a while, though, I noticed something else starting to happen. While going through my daily routines, the doubts, the negative thoughts and the heartache crept in easily, often without me noticing it. As doubts crept in, I worked hard to notice them and then I prayed. I simply prayed the name of Jesus over and over as a way to overcome anxiety. His name was the only prayer strong enough to combat my worries and fears.
My morning routine was to wake up, wash my face and drink my coffee. Usually, I eased into my day, did schoolwork with the kids, went to work, completed housework and went to sleep. Early on, I realized that this would not work; I would not survive the impact of our marital issues without Jesus, so I had to start at the beginning of the day.
To be honest, in-depth Bible study was difficult, simply because it was hard to focus on large chunks of reading. I decided to work on smaller chunks of the Bible and wrote out some verses to memorize. I made it a point to sit on the side of my bed each morning, look out at the back yard and thank God for a new day.
I turned the chore of washing dishes into an opportunity to pray. Even social media turned into a way to gather favorite verses all in one place. As I intentionally took Jesus through every part of my day, it became easier to focus on Him instead of being completely devoured by my problems. I came to the point where I realized that either I had to trust God, believe He would care for me, have faith that He would lead me — OR — I had to throw in the towel on my faith and close the door on God.
The option to stay in bed and watch my life pass by was viable and for a while I did that. Moving forward, though, stepping back into life, was scary. I had no guarantee that anything would get better. God asked me to wait, but I was not sure how things would ultimately turn out. I realized the only way out of my situation was to get through it, so I determined to move ahead.
I told God that if my marriage was to be saved, He was going to have to do it. Psalm became a verse I clung to —. Friends, we have a calling on our lives, each one of us. The marital issues we struggle with are a small part of the entirety of our lives. I know they seem all-consuming right now, but consider them in the scope of your entire life. I have a birthday every April. I have 39 years before these issues were a part of my story, and I hope to have many years after this where my marital issues will no longer be a part of my story. They will take up a small portion of my entire life, so why would I camp out in that tragedy rather than living in the years of blessing that God has given?
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Waiting while God restores your marriage can be difficult. We can wait in stress, in frustration, full of anxiety, or we can wait in proactive ways that keep us stepping out in faith with the Lord.
I believe there is a way to move forward, and to begin to get our feet back on solid ground! Join us! Click this link to fill out the short form for the Facebook group. Thanks for Sharing! Sometimes when you focus on your problems they look so big but when you let God deal with them and you focus on God, He becomes so much bigger than anything else. I too am being asked to wait, up I am 62 and feel time slipping quickly away, but God has His timing and He is sovereign. Thank you so much for sharing. I am in the waiting process also and have also chose to wait on God. It is so good to find someone who was hearing the same thing I am hearing from God and that is to wait.
Excellent post, friend! I love how you put these years of struggle into perspective. It feels soooo long in the moment, but in the scope of a lifetime, not so much! Love you!
3 Ways to Wait While God Restores My Marriage
I love this. A great reminder that any prayer said, at any time, is a prayer heard! I think that your decision to move forward in God is so important and pertinent for anyone going through a difficult time. Thanks for your willingness to share your story; I am sure many will be encouraged.
I could have written an article like this. Today I read it from the other side of long-awaited restoration and am awed and overwhelmingly thankful. There is hope! See what God has done! It is encouraging to hear from those who have walked through this trial. Praise the Lord for what He has done, will do and is doing!
I also love how you point out that issues we face are not our whole life. It is important to keep that perspective. Visiting from Coffee For Your Heart. I needed this. My husband left 13 months ago, and has not filed for divorce. I never thought of me waiting in Faith as moving forward. Thank you. The part about changing up your routines to avoid those negative thought patterns—whatever they are about—is really helpful to me. Rebekah- this is such wise, wise insight! I do too hope God restores mine. I agree with all of this!
As someone who went through divorce as a Christian wife, these are tips that I wish I started practicing more early on in the marriage. I love Romans That is my life scripture in every situation. I leaned on that scripture in my first marriage and I truly believe in that verse.
A great encouragement today. Stopping by from Salt and LIght link up. Thank you for this encouragement. Yes, these tips have helped me in considering my children, friends, extended family. My marital issues will forever be a part of my story. Day in and day out. Through an affair my husband got another woman pregnant. How do you handle marital problems that literally will be there for the rest of your life? We might wait forever! May God strengthen us to act upon the truth we have and to trust Him with the outcome.
Roxy, I will pray for you. May the Lord bring even one believing friend to encourage you to stand for your marriage. I am standing with you!
Reform Never Stops
I need a new routine. Thank you for this post. I never thought that it would be such a popular topic among Christian women. I pray for all the Christian wives for God to show His Majesty in their lives. It is hard to wait but i do believe that God is preparing us for so much more blessings in His Kingdom. He builds our characters and faith. God bless you sisters in Christ. What are men doing?. I stopped praying for restoration in my married. Let him pray if he wants me back. Hi Kym! Thank you so much for your comment here. However, I get a good number of emails, as they are more private, from men who are looking for a site like this that is geared toward men.
I refer them all to that site, and I send along several other websites that may be of help for them. Thanks for being here!
- The Journal of Major George Washington: An Account of His First Official Mission, Made as Emissary from the Governor of Virginia to the Commandant of the ... Forces on the Ohio, Oct. 1753-Jan. 1754!
- Six Sigma For Dummies.
- A Spiritual Approach to Life?
- Sacrilegious: A puzzle of Flesh!
- When You See the Signs (Alzheimers Separates the Mind & Body Book 1).
I am a husband waiting and praying for our marriage to be restored. God has been so wonderful from the start. My wife left with the kids to stay in a other town , that was the hardest part for me , since I am very attached to my 2 children , they are like air to me. My wife is a very godly person , and has since lost her way , attending parties and seeing other men she sent me picture and messages by accident , after I asked God to reveal the secrets that has been kept from me in marriage and becoming a very cold and lost person.
He also said , that He will take my wife into the dessert and work on her there , and bring her back restored. I am so thankful for the growth in my faith and the unreal experience with the heavenly father. There will be a time where you will feel the need to pray day in and day out for your spouse , listen to what the Holy spirit wants you to do , after a very long spiritual warfare , God will step in and you can focus on your faith and to recover , you focus on forgiving your spouse and setting them free so God can take over and do the work.
In that time , there will be silence and you will feel that you are doing something wrong or not enough , but rest assured , God is giving you this time to learn to trust in Him , look carefully how God is working in your life and that of your spouse and marriage. To everyone standing for marriage I say well done , your reward will be great for trusting the Lord , remember that every time you pray , you are talking to the creator , almighty and all powerful God.
To Jesus all the glory!!! Hi Gert, Thank you so much for taking time to leave a comment. Your story is very similar to what I hear from other men who, on occasion, leave a comment or send an email. He will leave that up to their free will. And in the long run, if they choose to come home, it will be their choice — borne from their wants and desires, not because God forced it on them. Thank you, again, for taking time to comment! If you say people have their own free will, how can God save marriages?
I know for a fact He can, but please explain what you meant. I am going through a very rough time as I wait in faith for God to do His work and it has been a very rough time. I pray each day that God changes my heart and to align our wills with His. I am choosing to God to do what only He can for my marriage.
One year ago around this time my husband and I separated. I asked for a significant signs. I was shocked by God quick response. God answered my prayer immediately. God said yes. We did not cheat. I did not like to live a mediocre life. My husband knows this. I was never in debt it makes be very uncomfortable. I paid my bills and my bills are paid on time. We were doing so well the first two yrs into our marriage. He stopped being responsible. He stopped and refused to help me with our rent. His portions of the bills payments was always late and partial.
We did not celebrated our years 7 yrs anniversary together and now our 8 years anniversary is soon approaching. We do not keep in contact. My husband is like a baby in a candy store and he wants everything he sees and want me to pay for it. My husband loved to shower me with gifts. He would rather buy me gifts before our bills are paid.
He is no longer my husband we became roommates. His gifts replaced him. Everything stopped.
In it for the long haul
Now I am uncertain. I think the only reason why i might have a little hope is because of God yes.. Not sure if i want him back. How can I live with my husband again and I do not trust him?
- A Little Bit of the Pieces Of Me: A self-coaching guide to acknowledging your reality?
- Two Old Cats Like Us.
- 3 Ways to Wait While God Restores My Marriage;
I am living better without him. It has been almost a year since I found that my husband was cheating and he moved out to live with the other woman. I thought that I was over it but lately I have found myself becoming despondent. I have prayed and asked God to help me in forgiving him and I think I have done so. However I seem to have given up I have even stopped praying for restoration. We have been communicating a whole lot better but I have not seen any signs from him towards restoration.
It has been extremely difficult. I sometimes think that God does not us to be together anymore. Please pray for me that my faith will be restored and my relationship with Him will be strengthened and elevated. Hello i feel i have given up to pray for my restoration i been waiting for 17years now my husband is with OW and they now have two kids i had hope but after the birth of two kidz and all hope was lost. I got to a point where i deleted all contacts of his relatives i no longer communicATE with anyone of them and i have since stopped to seriously pray for this marriage, I am hurting cause i hoped my husband will come back but i lost hope when i think of him i feel so much hurt cause there is no sign no communication nothing is that is happening that i can say this marriage will be restored.
But how do I know thats not my heart speaking. This was so inspiring and much needed. My husband recently left me. I have no doubt in my faith in God, but my confusion with my current situation is eating away at my guilt. I hope that God restores my marriage, too, in His timing, and I pray that He gives me the patience. Thank you so much for your encouraging testimony. My husband left us just over 29 months ago! I have been trusting God for his return and restoration of our marriage…after over a year of no way to contact him…I found his new number and address on Facebook!
We have been messaging back and forth since this may …his conversations have gone back and forth like he was undecided about our marriage. I just received divorce papers July 3rd.
God’s Way of Restoration | Reality LA
And in shock and unbelief at this decision. Messaged him and made him a where that I had received the papers. Instead, God told Israel to set up camp. But then, God gave the promise:. How true is that in our lives? We think we can see so clearly but our lenses are really fogged up.
We have nostalgia for a Ranger when God wants to give us an F But we have to trust Him that He has the proper timing for that F But first, an exercise. I want you to go grab a piece of paper. Go find a piece of scrap paper and a pen or pencil. Hey, welcome back!
Was it a job, a relationship, or maybe a possession? Whatever it was, write it down. Now fold it in half and pray over it. Ask God to help you release the loss to him. Pray that He gives you the patience to understand his timing. Instead, crumple it up and throw it away. Hopefully, it helped you too! And remember: trust God that your loss will be restored in His way! Jesus instructs us to lead through servant leadership. When we obey His commands there are things that we get out of it. Learn what those are in our free guide.
This is an interesting, albeit painful post for me to read. However, I am writing to you in hopes that maybe you could give me some insight on my particular situation…. For two years, I was in a church that taught false doctrine and was very spiritually abusive, leaving me with even more of a warped perception of God than I came into church with. I left that horrible church in April of and joined the one I go to now and was baptized that August. God did an amazing work in my life on that day, breaking off what I believe was demonic oppression from being in my old church and for the first time in my life, things were perfect and He blessed me with everything I could have wanted…but I was a fool….
Or is this out of the question because I was already a Christian when I did these things? Was what I did just too bad? I encourage you to remember that humans are not God and, because of that, do not always act according to his will.